Leaked to the League…

Some kind soul has leaked the following article to us. It was written by a senior hunter, and submitted for publication but rejected. The arrogance is quite spectacular!

Many of us in the countryside can remember how, after the Hunting Act was implemented in February 2005, that particular season ended in some disarray. Some hunts, believing that they were unable to continue under the new and vindictive law, even curtailed their seasons by several months. It was only during the summer of 2005 that someone within our community conceived the concept of trail hunting. I don’t know the identity of this person but he should be knighted.

Of course we could not convert to straight drag hunting! That, as someone once accurately observed, is like kissing your sister. Our history and culture demanded that we keep as close as possible to the real thing. So it is that it has now become the norm for artificial fox scents to be deliberately laid in places where foxes were traditionally found. In the pursuit of realism, the huntsman must remain unaware of exactly where the trail has been laid and so, of necessity, perform exactly the same tasks as he did before the Act. Hounds are entered into scrubland and thickets and drawn along hedgerows. It’s interesting to record that when our four legged friends were trained in the new procedures during the Autumn of 2005, what a revelation it was to us all how frequently these wonderful creatures were able to distinguish between the artificial scent and the real thing!

Neither let us forget the role of the trail-layers in this ongoing saga of hunting determination and ingenuity. I cannot emphasis enough how important it is – again, for the maintenance of realism – for the huntsman to remain ignorant of the precise location of the trail. For this reason, our boys will set off on quadbike, with horse in tow for the more difficult terrains, before the crack of dawn. In addition, many hunting countries are so rugged that trail layers have to be fully qualified rock climbers. Neither should the difficulty of laying trails across difficult terrain in semi darkness be underestimated. Notwithstanding all of this, trail-layers, without exception, take great pride in not being observed as they go about their work. In fact, I believe I can say without fear of contradiction that, no working trail layer has been observed by anyone since December 2005 when, of course, preliminary PR work had to be done with newspaper and television people.

Sometimes we are asked to explain the role of the terrierman, who is still to be seen at hunts replete with terriers and spades. The answer is very simple. At the end of a trail hunt, the hounds will often mill around in puzzlement, exactly as they used to do when they ‘marked to ground’ after ‘Charlie’ had retreated to his underground refuge. Unfortunately in today’s world the hounds are forbidden by law to receive the natural fruits of the terrierman’s digging. But as with the hunt itself, an unsatisfactory alternative has been found.. Our man in camo gear will locate a nearby burrow, enter his terriers, dig down and retrieve a rabbit for the disappointed hounds.

Of course, accidents do happen; real foxes are sometimes found; a pursuit can take place. In these circumstances huntsmen are required by law to call off the hounds. They do this by galloping after our pursuing lovelies and by making appropriate horn and voice calls. Needless to say, there have been occasions when the wretched antis, rising from the undergrowth like damp phoenixes, and waiving their blasted video cameras have recorded such scenes in an attempt to prove that our people are in some way behaving illegally. Of course our wonderful police are not fooled so easily and have, quite rightly, given our unsavoury friends short shrift. But this situation is untenable in the long run. There is a lasting fear for the innocent master and huntsman of being successfully prosecuted. Quite simply, the associated stress is unacceptable.

For these reasons we cannot go on like this. A Conservative Government and a subsequent repeal cannot come soon enough. The antis of course will scream blue murder. But I tell you, they are so ignorant of countryside matters that after the deed is done they won’t be able to tell the difference!

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3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    mhayworth said,

    ‘Of course we could not convert to straight drag hunting! That, as someone once accurately observed, is like kissing your sister’

    Now that is funny. I would have thought ‘kissing your sister’ was right up there with foxhunting as a common form of behaviour for inbreds incapable of behaving like civilised beings.

    As for drag hunting, if the fear of arrest is so stressful, just muzzle the hounds and eliminate the ‘accidents’. Drag hunting is legal, hunt numbers are up, and yet you still can’t manage to enjoy yourselves without terrifying and killing animals. You’ve got to be seriously inadequate to enjoy such a thing!

  2. 2

    gilesbradshaw said,

    mairi that comment about inbreds just reveals you as a very nasty bigoted and ignorant person.

    You got your law, the hunts are obeying it, if you don;t like it tough.

    Getting drag hunts to muzzle hounds is absurd.

    The rare accidents that occur pale into insignificance when compared to other causes of accidents such as traffic

  3. 3

    gilesbradshaw said,

    Moreover traditional drag hunting is completely unsuitabl;e and would be dangerous for a lot of the riders and animals that hunt.

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